Sneakoscopes
Sneakoscopes helps you look into the future. What lies ahead? Make sure you stay up to date on the latest!
by February Fortescue
Welcome to the new (but definitely not) improved SNEAKOSCOPES, where I, fortune teller February Fortescue, shall sneak a peak and scope out your future!
The honourable Prof. Sindor Aloyarc has kindly lent this treasure to me, so I shall be passing on my wondrous visions to each of you. If you are a first time visitor, please read Sin's The HOL Zodiac article. Happy New Year! Well, maybe not according to the Gregorian Calendar, but we're going by the Astrological Calendar, right? March 20th is the start of a whole new beginning for all of us, so let's blast out the old and accio the new! Nature is ready – there's even a New Moon on the 21st. SATYR (December 22 — January 19) The stars say it's time to let go of those patterns from the past, Satyr. You no longer need to keep to the path you chose when you were younger. Sever those ties, Severus. Accio the future. Respect yourself and the present. That lovely Harpy is waiting! HARPY (January 20 — February 18) No befuddlement charms will be anywhere near you this spring - get ready for your mind and communication to become crystal clear, Harpy. Now's the time to write that letter to the Wizengamot about equality for werewolves. Join me as a guest speaker at the next Wizarding Conference when I present my own paper on How to Enchant Crystal Balls as Lighting Fixtures and Why They Work Better than Candles. I sell crystal balls, but I haven't decided if I'm going to mention that or not. RAMORA (February 19 — March 20) I know you prefer the big picture, Ramora, but now's the time to focus on the floor boards. Do you have the structure in place to support those projects so your dreams can come to fruition? I know it's hard, but if the floor caves in, the plans go “poof!” Nobody likes “poof!” Land the broom and stand on the ground. WYVERN (March 21 — April 19) With the New Year opening in your sign of Wyvern, your way ahead will be brighter than a well lit lumos path. Have the urge to grab that broom and follow your instincts towards a new direction? Now's the time! Accio that broomstick and fly on to a new destination! MINOTAUR (April 20 — May 20) Now is the time to step back before flying off into the sunset, Minotaur. Before you make any drastic moves, examine your motives: are you running from a dragon rather than facing the fire, or do you really want to join that Thestral preserve? It's great to make positive changes, but make sure you aren't running away from something you need to handle in the present. DOPPLEGANGER (May 21 — June 20) Avoid Dreamless Sleep, Doppleganger, because now is the time to pay attention to those dreams. Your fantasies will help guide you better than the Marauder's Map in the direction you want to go, so pay attention and start planning for your future! SIREN (June 21 — July 22) I see galleons in your future, Siren! The stars are shining on your career and you are about to be awarded for your Hermione-like work ethic. I recommend a larger fault at Gringotts. Don't forget Fortescue said so, and make a donation to my psychic fund. CHIMERA (July 23 — August 22) Spontaneity and travel are the actions for your future this spring, Chimera! Always wanted to visit the Nundus? Africa is calling to you, so work on those portus charms (especially the return portkey – I recommend making it touch activated, because, well, you never know when you'll be charged by a hungry Nundu) and have a great trip! Don't forget to visit Garagan's Gift Shop. I've been told they have the most adorable Nundu figurine. Your fortune also says you'd just love to send me one. Always obey your fortune! BANSHEE (August 23 — September 22) All magical things must come to an end, Banshee, and the stars are telling you it's time to diffindo those objects and relationships which are no longer serving you for your highest good. Let them go. Especially that tacky rug one of you has in your foyer. It looks like it belongs in a fortune teller's hideaway! Be brave – give it to me, and I'll get rid of it for you. LYCAN (September 23 — October 22) It's time to take those feelings for that special witch or wizard to the next level. Unattached? No need for love potions, just use your personal bewitching charms to woo the one of your dreams. Accio Celestina Warbeck! And don't forget to ask Madam Puddifoot for a seat in the corner, as I've noticed it holds some charms of its own! ASWANG (October 23 — November 21) Don't misunderstand, Aswang – I'm not saying your life is routine, but you do enjoy your routines, and they are wonderful for supporting those goals. Now's the time to strengthen them and bring yourself even closer to reaching your goals of secretive world domination. Or maybe not so secretive. Just keep it up. You're closer than you think. THESTRAL (November 22 — December 21) Got yourself a new passion project, Thestral? I thought so! Your creative juices are flowing even harder than usual, and anything you put your mind to will be a success. I see you bring back time-turners. Those would be so useful. Yes. Hint: I know you love animals, but perhaps not make hippogriffs such a high priority. Because I can see the future, send good ole Feb Fortescue your plans ahead of time. Trust me on this one. Accio good fortune in the new year. |